Build More Confidence?

I started this blog with the intention of putting to words the concept of confidence, and hopefully helping people overcome their own anxieties and fears when related to the subject of self-confidence. I myself have struggled inexplicably from a lack of self-confidence throughout my life, which has unfortunately left me with many experiences that have drained my self-esteem. Most people around me would not say that I am shy or introverted, but that is only because I have developed many devices to protect myself and seem like I have confidence, and I'm sure many of you reading this have too. I know people that play off their lack of self-confidence and resort to rationalizing why they never attempted something. I know people that self-medicate because they feel that using a drug or alcohol will drain their feelings of inadequacy. That was me for a long time, and it got me into a lot of trouble. But that's not why I'm writing this.

I have begun to discover many things about confidence during my struggles. Some of these things really opened my eyes and made me aware of my previously undetected actions. Even though I was learning, however, I could never make the jump to just "doing it". It seems like my lack of aggression during times of need really held me back in life.

So, what is that? Why do we feel so bad about ourselves that we cannot get anything done? Is this natural? How could anyone benefit from a lack of self-esteem? Why do we keep ourselves indoors and tell our friends that we don't feel like going out - and sit around until 4am wishing we had have gone instead of playing Halo all night? Why do we look at our phones when someone we like calls and press the ignore button because we're sitting in a room with a few friends, or avoid calling the Department of Motor Vehicles until the last minute because we didn't want to talk to anyone?

I know, I know - you're probably thinking, "Well, calling the DMV is a pain in the ass." This is true, but if you ever watch confident people, they get on the phone at anytime and talk to anyone. Doesn't matter if they are at a loss for words or if they tell a stupid joke. They are confident in themselves that the outcome will be in their favor.

And that's what confidence is. It is generally described as being certain that a hypothetical situation or prediction is correct, or that a course of action chosen will come out successful according to the circumstances. Self-confidence is just that - confidence in the self. Believing that what you are doing or what you are about is correct. If you really believe that going to war with another country, despite heavy protest, is the right thing to do - hey, you have confidence! I suspect that someone with that high a level of confidence will still have it, even in loss. I digress.

Some of us just don't "have it". But, we can work on ourselves and become charming, successful, even arrogant people, even if we can't truly see that in ourselves. Having a lack of self-esteem and self-worth is a terrible feeling, and I hope that I can help a few people by sharing some of my experiences through this outlet.

Changing the mind is very difficult. We have experiences from childhood that jack up our emotions and perception of ourselves. All kinds of things have been introduced, from self-talk to NLP, but if you don't fully and wholeheartedly put yourself into those programs, then chances are they won't work. I've been so unconfident in myself that I've used a program for a day and then quit. It wasn't until I actually used it for a substantial amount of time did I see anything different. This goes for anything, actually. You can't memorize a speech or a song in a day. You can't learn to play ball or skateboard in a day. You have to force yourself to get out there and risk embarrassment before you start to see yourself climb. And once you actually see yourself, you begin to understand who you are, and that you are capable of putting in some hard work and reaping benefits later on down the line of your no-so-pathetic-anymore existence. We have to basically "talk ourselves out" of things. We have to look in the mirror sometimes and say, "You're awesome!" Can't overdo it, though. You might begin to think you're bigger than life (until you get beat up by Macho Man Randy Savage).

So, here's my first post, and I will be doing this more and more often - sharing some of my (crazy) experiences, and just building on to some of the base that I'm laying down here. Sit back, set your favorite Mind-Altering program down for a second, and let's talk about getting off these computers for a minute and going outside to play ball.